i have sweater envy*

I’d like to make one thing clear, once and for all:

I DO NOT HAVE PENIS ENVY.

For all the boys on Nicholson Second Lower, I’d like to reiterate: I HAVE NEVER BEEN ENVIOUS OF YOUR PENIS. I NEVER WILL BE. So please stop hacking my Facebook and posting such lewd and absurd comments. Seriously. And for all of you who may have seen the downhill progression of my Facebook statuses over the past few weeks… I apologize. The saying goes that one is “green with envy”… Well you should all know that I’m not green. I’m not even blue. I am freaking red. And red is the opposite of green. Which means that I harbor not even the remotest tinge of envy for your genitalia. SO THERE.

Let’s talk about something I AM envious of. Like people with lots of cozy-warm, oversized sweaters. Which, probably because I am lacking in that department, seems to be just about everyone I come across. I want a big cable knit sweater in a soft shade of cream, and one in a crazy colorful geometric pattern, and one with a cat on it, and another with big pockets and grandpa buttons all the way down the front. And maybe also a fair isle one with a cowl neck and too-long sleeves. Now THAT is something I have: sweater envy. Not penis envy.

*Note: sweater ≠penis.

  

 

sweater – thrifted

jeggings – BCBG outlet